Because of them I get to Travel

Grandma and Grandpa, I owe it to you.

3 months ago I moved home for two reasons. One, because my grandfather had triple by-pass open heart surgery and I wanted to come home to help him in his recovery. And two, because I had just gotten out of the military and didn’t know what I was going to do next. I knew I wanted to go to school, but I wasn’t sure where or what for. I figured it’d be two birds with one stone: I get to help my grandpa and grandma out around the house after being away from them for so long, and I’d have the space and change in pace of life that I needed to prioritize my education.

Somewhere along the way though, plans changed, as they always do. Ever since I left my hometown, my childhood, and my family for the military I have acquired a taste for new things, new people, and new places. As anyone who grew up like me would, who never got to experience much outside of their hometown until they decided to leave it. During my five years in the military, the world bit me with its bug—and like most bites, it left me with an itch. One that I felt only could be scratched if I “one-uped” my decision to join the military. 

Almost overnight, I decided to celebrate my service and push myself further by planning my first solo backpacking trip. Europe came to mind, until I saw the cost. Then I considered Southeast Asia, but just the thought of it didn’t seem to start scratching the itch. But as soon as I looked up a few places in Latin America, I knew that's where I wanted to go. 

So this summer I have done nothing but plan, prepare, and research what I needed to do and where I wanted to go. A stressful task, but one I was fortunate enough to do from the safety of my grandparents home. And that is who I write this for.  

Being in the military and coming home for holidays, birthdays, weddings, or graduations over the last 5 years hasn’t been easy. With each visit you feel a little bit more out of place. Your room gets packed up, your friends leave to go off to college or start careers of their own, and your age expires past the point of hanging out in the “cool spots” like you used to. I wish it was something I could describe in more detail but I can’t. It’s simply something you have to experience for yourself. It’s exciting at first, until you start to grieve the way things used to be. Not because you miss them, but because you don’t think of them on your own anymore. You’ve simply outgrown them. 

All of this is to admit: I was afraid to come home. Afraid I’d sink into comfort and never want to leave. Afraid of losing the life I’d built, or falling out of love with the passions I’d found. Afraid of sacrificing my dreams for family needs. But all that I feared gave me the courage to choose to travel.

I tried my hardest to help out around the house. “What chore you got for me today, grandpa?” I would ask after the grass was mowed, the quail were fed and watered daily, and the gutters had already been cleaned. “I’ll get that” to any attempt he’d make at doing something himself when he wasn’t supposed to. But the truth is, I could work from sun up to sun down, every single day for the rest of my life, and still never come close to paying them back for everything they’ve done for me. We butted heads. Yes, that can happen when you turn your grandparents into your roommates. The change of pace was hard at first. The social life I seemingly gave away, the home away from home that I left, and the uncertainty of my future was a lot of pressure and sometimes that pressure cracked my lid haha. But steady, as they always are, was grandma and grandpa. 

Without them probably realizing it, because of them I am able to make this trip. For 3 months I lived off of home cooked meals that fed my body and conversations with them that fed my heart. It’s hard to admit that the word “home,” used to bring pain with it. But this summer it didn’t. It’s easy to overlook how important something is when it’s been unwavering your whole life. Never having to question something typically means “out of sight out of mind.” And that’s exactly what my grandparents have been my whole life. Solid, consistent, dependable, and there at every turn without question. Because of them I was able to find peace at home and use the environment they had made for me to find clarity. Because of them I found the kid in me that was always looking to explore. 

So I dedicate this trip, the fun I’ll have, the memories I’ll make, the lessons I’ll learn, and the personal growth I’ll gain, to them. They deserve it all and because of them I will make sure to do just that. All.